Funny Film Production Story (1) from Author Ben Bryant


My

film production

book, Circumstances Beyond My Control, is full of stories about the adventures I had as a line producer and first assistant director. Here are a couple of the funny ones excerpted from the book.

“There was one other [Director Ken Licata] job I do recall although I don’t remember what the product was. We were going to shoot exteriors in a park somewhere in Bergen County, New Jersey and the call time was 6:00 AM at the Market Diner on Eleventh Avenue and 44th street. It was raining like crazy. I got on the phone with Ken who was still at home (he lived in Jersey) to discuss whether or not to pull the plug. Along with Ellen [Rappaport, Iris Films’ brilliant staff producer] we decided that since the crew would have to be paid for the day anyhow we may as well go to the location and see what happened with the weather.

BB Slicker crop

Not happy about the Rain

“An hour or so later when we arrived at the park it was still pouring. As we stood under a shelter near the equipment truck the AC [Camera Assistant], Abe Schrager, asked me if he should load some magazines. I made a smart assed reply to the effect that if we shot a foot of film that day I’d … perform an unnatural sexual act on him in Times Square. Well, don’t you know, in half an hour the storm blew over (no pun intended) and the sun came out.

“For the next few years every time I saw Abe he’d ask when I wanted to meet him in Times Square.”

*****

In Three Stages, the first book of this trilogy, I tell of how – while in college – I worked on a power line gang. One of my jobs was to send material and equipment up to hot-wire linemen at the top of poles. This activity involved learning how to tie a variety of knots.

Linemen

*****

One fun, for me, incident occurred on this [same Licata] shoot. We were using a 20 X 20 silk. [An aluminum frame holding a sheet of light diffusion material used to create shade on a bright day.] A brisk wind was blowing and before the silk was secured a gust lifted it off the ground, and it was about to become a huge, un-tethered kite. The grips were off doing something else and I was the nearest guy to the levitating monster. I quickly grabbed one of the attached ropes and lashed it to a tree, grabbed a second rope and lashed to another tree. I had it tied down in a minute or two when the key grip arrived on the scene and inspected my knots. He said something about his surprise that I knew how to do what I’d just done to which I replied that I had not been an AD for my whole life. I always enjoyed any opportunity to demonstrate that I was not a mere management drone but was capable of actually doing stuff.”

I don’t want you to think that I actually considered the 1st AD to be a “mere management drone”. That statement was self-deprecating humor.

Buy Circumstances Beyond My Control

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