A Musical Theatre story from Author Ben Bryant


A

Musical Theatre

story? Okay, I admit that may be a bit misleading but the setting for the tale is, at least, in the big-time musical theatre. My first professional job in showbiz was the 1957 Los Angeles Civic LIght Opera production of South Pacific starring Mary Martin.

But we have to back up to 1937 or so for the background.

An excerpt from the first chapter of Three Stages:

“I did have an ‘official’ girlfriend as a preschool child, although I only remember this romance as stories Mother told me in later years. Her name was LuAnn Woolwine and she was the daughter of a couple who were friends of [my parents] Lucy and Bish. I was told that (at about two or so)  we liked to take baths together. Hmmm …”

LuAnn, now married for many years to a prominent Bristol, Tennessee surgeon, recently sent me this photo.

Closeup, bottom left.

We were a very cute couple at age four or five.

Now we jump to chapter four:

“While South Pacific was running my childhood sweetheart, LuAnn Woolwine, came to LA to visit somebody and we started having dates. I had reached the point where I no longer believed that I had to get married before getting laid and I did my damnedest to make my very first girlfriend my first sexual partner, but she successfully resisted my amorous advances.”

And here’s the part of the story that didn’t make it into Three Stages.

My “buddies” in the South Pacific dressing room knew that my old girlfriend was in the house that night, that I was eager to see her asap after the show so they hid my shoes. I must admit that I lost my cool and went ape-shit. Of course my pals found this hilarious. Since this was (as I write in 2017) sixty years ago the details of my search and the havoc I wrought no longer can be found among the clutter of my gray matter. But I do remember that I was ready to kick some serious ass and by the time I somehow singled out the culprit, Bruce Yarnell, I was becoming dangerous. At six foot six and two hundred twenty pounds, Bruce had a nine inch/fifty pound advantage on me but my fury and his physical cowardice convinced him to come clean before I had to inflict damage on his person.

He produced the shoes along with a half-assed, sniggering apology and I gathered up my erstwhile girlfriend and left the theater.

You’ll find many genuine tales of musical theater when you click here and get Three Stages.

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