A Love Story of 51 Years

• Posted on 27th December 2018
• in celebrity books, divorce & remarriage, Entertainment, entertainment books, Love Story
• by Ben

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Elizabeth Hepburn’s and my love story is a long and occasionally bumpy one.

We have survived separation and divorce, followed by re-marriage and fifty-one years and five months to the day after we met (as I write on 26 December 2018) our love story is stronger and richer than ever.

This essay was prompted by a conversation between two Stevens, Colbert and Carrell, on The Late Show. These two old pals were talking family stuff and Carrell mentioned that his kids were grown and soon would be leaving the nest so that he and his wife would have no one else to deal with or talk to in their home.

That got me to thinking that as a childless couple we had never had anyone else to deal with or talk to in our home. And that this was okay. We have neither exhausted topics of conversation nor ceased to make one another laugh multiple times nearly every day.

Elizabeth and I are blessed genuinely to be one another’s best friends.

As is no doubt the case with many another long term love story and partnership, we have – in the normal course of events – developed “shorthand” words and phrases as well as “call and response” locutions many of which stem from our mutual backgrounds in musical theatre.

There was a famous tenor in the early 20th century named Beniamino Gigli. Back in the day when I was briefly a tenor at the Met some of my older friends said that my sound was similar to his. Elizabeth began addressing me as “Beniamino” to which I would (and still do) respond, “Gigli”.

When either of us asks, “What do you want?, the other nearly always replies, “indescribable bliss.” a slight adjustment of a Sondheim lyric from Company. Elizabeth did two or three productions of that pure New York musical which also gave us: “Where you goin?” answer: “Barcelona”, response, “Oh.”

My favorite, and our most often used shorthand phrase, requires some background.

Morton Dubin was the owner of Iris Films and I was the “first-call” assistant director for all his in-house directors. He had hired me to produce a commercial with a new guy, a volatile yet gifted Brit director. We had a limited budget but Morty wanted the first shoot with him to go well so my instructions were to “Give Howard whatever he needs.”

By 6 PM of the studio prep day his lighting plan had been executed to exact specifications but he decided that it had to be completely redone. I got the crew on it and then called Morty, and left a message that he should call me asap.

When he called back I told him what was going on and that the crew was gonna have at least two, maybe even three or four hours of extra overtime. He said, “Is it necessary?” I told him it was what Howard wanted and Morty said, “See you in the morning.”

This is a perfect example of why I loved working for Morty Dubin. Most exec producers would have had me on the phone for half-an-hour explaining every detail of why we had to do what we had to do. Not Morty’s style. He hired you because you knew your business and he let you do the job. Morty liked the short answer. He would stop me in the middle of an explanation and say, “You’ve made your point, get outta my office.”

In an argument or discussion between Elizabeth and me that has gone on past its resolution, one of us will say, “Morty Dubin!” With a chuckle, that stops the dialog in its tracks and allows us to move on.

If you are in a long term relationship I hope this piece will inspire you – if you haven’t done it already – to develop your own shorthand.

If you’d like to read the whole story click here and get Waiting for Elizabeth.

 

 

Tags: Beniamino Gigli, Howard Guard, Morty Dubin, Tom Houghton