Stuff That I Have Noticed #73: Departed Friends

One of the curses of longevity is out-living friends. So along with the various memorials on TV at a year’s end and the beginning of a new one I submit my personal remembrance of lost brothers and one sister.

My first departed brother that comes to mind was Raul Julia who passed in October 1994 (a stroke at 54) and he was followed ten years later by Jerry Orbach who was the same age as myself, sixty-nine years, in December in 2004. It was truly a shock when I learned of both these men’s spirits having left their bodies at such premature ages.

Author Ben Bryant after dinner with Jerry Orbach

Raul and Jerry had been my pals for twenty and forty years respectively but I had been out of touch with them for a while when I learned of their departures. They were both truly shocking. (Elizabeth was the officiant at Jerry’s funeral while I stood in the rear of the packed auditorium holding back my grief.)

A memory about Jerry that I treasure: My phone would ring, I’d say hello and with no preamble Jerry would tell me an hilarious joke, acting all the roles and accents then hang up.

And Raul was also a funny guy. We assembled some actor friends for a reading of a screenplay I’d written for him and a conversation ensued about who would play his lady friend. When I suggested William Hurt (Kiss of the Spider Woman) Raul said, “Fine as long as I don’t have to kiss him”.

In the nineteen years since Jerry’s passing several of my less famous contemporaries have left us and just this week I learned of three more recent deaths; Ellie Ellsworth with whom I did Jacques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Paris off-Broadway, Lincoln Mayorga who I’d known since Hollywood high where he accompanied me on piano when I was the choir soloist and Carl Zucker with whom I worked as a producer and AD on multiple film and TV projects for many years. These were not mere colleagues but personal friends.

There have been too many other dear ones lost to Father Time and I find it impossible to ignore the idea that in the not too distant future both my name and that of my beloved Elizabeth will find their way on some of our friends’ lists of departed comrades.

Author Ben Bryant with his (twice) wife Elizabeth Hepburn

We all know that we won’t wear these “meat suits” forever and many of us, myself included, assume that this will not be the end of our lives but simply a transition back into the universe of Spirit. Regardless of what many books and teachers tell us, no one is certain of what lies beyond our physical “lives” but the choices of belief are many and varied.

Here’s a blog about my ideas on the subject.

And a Happy Year (life) to all of you.