Part of our Love Story; Ben Bryant the Metrosexual

• Posted on 1st December 2015
• in divorce & remarriage, entertainment books, Hollywood memoirs, Love Story
• by Ben

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Here’s an amplification of the

Love Story

that is Elizabeth and Ben.

Official definition from Wikipedia:

Metrosexual is a portmanteau, derived from metropolitan and sexual, coined in 1994 describing a man … who is especially meticulous about his grooming and appearance … The neologistic term is popularly thought to describe heterosexual men who adopt fashions and lifestyles stereotypically associated with homosexual men.

Here’s the definition that we use around our house:

A Metrosexual is a heterosexual man, butch as a bear, who is willing and happy to help his wife with – that which in a less enlightened era was referred to as – woman’s work. (The part about the fashion and grooming not so much.)

I am that man. I do the dishes, make the bed (sometimes with her, sometimes without), do the laundry and serve as sous-chef; peeling, chopping, cubing and cleaning up. Mostly I enjoy it – particularly the peeling and chopping – but mainly I do it out of appreciation of all that the lovely Elizabeth contributes to my life and wellbeing.

During the bleak years from 1996 until 2005 when we were separated (and divorced) I may have made my bed four or five times. I changed the sheets and washed the towels every six weeks or so whether they needed it or not. I lived on a diet of take-out food with the occasional home cooked toast and scrambled egg. Oh yeah, and most of the house plants died.

Once Elizabeth moved back in my appreciation and gratitude for the innumerable ways my life improved in practically every way was Brobdingnagian. To quote from the epilog of the final book of my memoirs, Waiting for Elizabeth:

The nine years we lived apart … were so desolate that with each passing day I became more and more aware of the value of what I had lost. The most important aspect of my new connection with this wondrous woman is appreciation.

Let me cite small, seemingly inconsequential examples: I have learned not only how important a well made bed is to my beloved but also how to do it. … I know, it’s a very small thing but those very small things – and the love with which they are accomplished – add up. And the sum of those very small things is a very big number. Acting as her sous-chef every night; … I didn’t always do that stuff before. Now I wouldn’t think of sitting and watching the news while she makes the salad. … little things. I used to watch football games from my leather chair on autumn Sundays while she made her wonderful pea soup. Now I watch football from the table while I cube ham, peel and dice carrots.

Little things.

It’s important to tell you that none of these activities were dictated or even requested by Elizabeth, they are absolutely voluntary. I don’t mean to be tooting my own horn here. I’m just telling you how much more I appreciate Elizabeth and how I demonstrate that appreciation through action. I’ve become a raging metrosexual.

When I think back to my youth I realize that some of this was learned by the example of my Dad. He was the first metrosexual, way ahead of his time. He used to say, “I run things around my house; the washing machine, the vacuum cleaner…” And he wasn’t kidding. My dad, Bish, appreciated and supported my mom, Lucy just as much as I appreciate Elizabeth.

 

As I get older I appreciate and emulate Bish more and more. There is one major exception.

I Do Not Wear an Apron!

Click here to get Waiting for Elizabeth