Fifty Years with Elizabeth a Love Story

• Posted on 13th March 2018
• in divorce & remarriage, Love Story
• by Ben

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Our love story began the day I met her, 26 July 1967.

I’d only seen her once before – Boys from Syracuse off-Broadway 1963 – and didn’t even know it. She’d seen me once before – West Side Story in Chicago 1965 – and didn’t even know it.

Mount Gretna, PA; Edited excerpt from Three Stages:

As I entered the building through the backstage door and moved through the dressing room area I could hear the cast singing one of the group numbers. I walked onto the stage and there they were, sitting in the front two rows of the house near the piano. There were probably twenty folks there, principals and chorus but I saw only one of them.

Sitting in the front row was a lovely young woman with a Shetland Sheep Dog at her feet. I didn’t know who she was but it was as though there was a pin spotlight on her and all the others in the room faded from view. Her presence hit me like a velvet sledge hammer. It was confusing.

The rehearsal split into the chorus, who stayed in the theatre, and principals who moved to the Inn to work on our individual numbers. The piano was in the dining room and as we waited our turns we sat on the porch. I learned that the mesmerizing lady’s name was Betsy Hepburn and that she was playing “Carrie”, the comedienne, who marries “Mr. Snow”. I was thrilled with her voice and the comic personality with which she sang. She was really good and that was a relief.

Then we worked on my big number, “Soliloquy”, a seven minute tour-de-force and I’d sung it many times. Knowing that Betsy was ten feet away hearing everything, I sang it better than ever before and socked the high b-flat on the end with all I was worth. Then we broke for lunch.

I asked Betsy if I could take her to lunch. With some reluctance she accepted and we went to the snack bar across from the Inn. As we were eating our sandwiches I told her that I felt like I knew her. She replied that she knew we’d never met. I agreed that that we’d not met before, that wasn’t what I meant. I just had the feeling that I knew her. This was the absolute truth. (It was several years later that I learned the concept of reincarnation.)

She married me four months later, 25 November 1967.

Thus began, that day in July, a lifetime relationship of two people who became each other’s best friends. And ever stimulating and fascinating and singular lovers. And partners in business. And creative collaborators. And Caregivers.

And maybe most importantly – Sandpaper. Or in my case more like an iron file.

I’m not big on biblical “wisdom” but there are a few gems in that ancient book of superstition. Here’s the pertinent one: As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 This is one of the major services my beloved has provided for me and I am a way better man than I would ever have been without this Blessing.

I’m tempted to give you a list of the tribulations and triumphs we have experienced together yet that temptation is not to be indulged in this essay. One reason is that I’ve written three books about it, already. But the larger reason is that my intention here is to celebrate Elizabeth Hepburn and what she has meant and continues to mean to me.

For starters I would not be alive if this wonder-full woman was not in – actually the center and the anchor of – my life. She has civilized me and taught me how to eat. This may seem trivial to some but not to me. My idea of a balanced meal before Elizabeth was a burger and fries. I mean, potatoes are vegetables. Right?

But that’s not the half of her positive influence on me.

When we met Elizabeth was near the end of her journey of growth out of the catholicism of her youth and I had long since cast aside the southern baptist indoctrination with which my Spirit had been poisoned and was deep into my period of agnosticism. She was not drawn to agnosticism but driven to find Spiritual meaning which was not to be found in religion.

I won’t list the many, many steps and processes we shared as she dragged me along behind her in the quest toward enlightenment. That state is still a goal but as they say, the joy is in the journey. The details can be found in my memoirs.

As of 25 November 2017, fifty years in and still counting, the journey is still a joyful challenge and I doubt that I’d even be on the trail without Elizabeth.

Thank you for all the years, the joys, the sorrows, the trials and the victories, But mainly I thank you for being who you are and for being with me.

To read more about Elizabeth and our most recent broken and repaired love story click here and get Waiting for Elizabeth.